312 West "FILTH" Street

The building at 312 W. 5th St. is known as the Shy Bary building. It should be known as the West "FILTH" building. Another tenant told me, "You've just got a bunch of white trash here, that's all." Correction, we have White trash, Black trash, Asian trash, Hispanic trash, Green trash, USC trash...the list goes on and on.

To the left you can see some dog feces that one of our maggot residents didn't have the common courtesy to clean up after his valued pet relieved itself in one of the stairwells. This feces has been there for over two weeks as of the date of this writing. I guess the HOAs don't cover animal feces clean-up. I'm going to ask them if HOAs cover firearms so I can shoot the next maggot who conveniently forgets to exercise the obligation of responsibility that goes with their right of pet ownership...

Think TWICE...THREE times...maybe even TEN times before you purchase any condo downtown in a concrete building. Sound travels very easily, and is magnified in a concrete building. For awhile, I had the problem with the tenant above me who decided that in the middle of the night she needed to walk around in hard heels on hard floors. Or, she had to move furniture around after 12am, and I'm not talking about doing these things once in awhile, I'm talking about doing these things practically every night for 10-15 minutes at a time. I've seen the same morons who complain about their inconsiderate neighbors, turn up their stereo at night or hang pictures at 4am. Just like some people think their excrement doesn't stink, others think their noise doesn't travel...but everyone else's does. Dumb inconsiderate moron!

A few weeks ago, someone on my floor decided they had to have an excessively loud karaoke party until 3am. Did this moron not realize that they were disturbing their neighbors? Attention all inconsiderate jackasses...you live in a confined area with common walls. If you make a lot of noise in a confined area, you'll disturb people. Either decide to be considerate and treat people like you would want to be treated, or go elsewhere.

Before you buy a condo or loft downtown, spend a night there, preferably a weekend. Find out the average age of the tenants. Go up and down the stairways to see whether there's dog feces, urine, and vomit there. And if you decide you like those things, then come on over to 312 W. Filth St. We've got more filth for your money than you could possibly imagine.

The Loser in Mezzanie Level M8-M9

So what you're looking at is a view from from my balcony of the Mezzanine level. The dog belongs to the tenant in M8-M9. You can see there's dog feces everywhere. This is just a little corner of the area that this maggot of a tenant lets his dogs excrete all over. Seldom does it get cleaned, and the smell is otherworldly. Often, the owner will leave the dogs out for extended periods of time, and they will whine and cry for hours at night or during the day. I love how these so-called "pet lovers" treat their pets.

Even better...a few weekends ago the loser brought a girl back to this place. I was awakened by their amorous activities outside. They were sitting just outside of the Mezzanine door, her on top of him, going at it. I shined a bright light down on them. There was dog feces everywhere, only a few feet from where they were going at it, and I had to ask myself...how does a maggot loser like that find a worthless enough whore who will fornicate outside in a concrete jungle covered in dog excrement? I mean, does Satan have sluts like that on backorder for just those special occasions where you need someone with so little self esteem that they'll spread their legs in a feces and urine infested dump with a maggot loser?

The Loser in Unit 910

Recently...make that, continually...I have been disturbed by a loud, yapping, dog. Because of the configuration of the building, it is often difficult to determine where a disturbance is coming from. However, I was finally able one day to determine the source of the noise.

As I rounded the corner on the 9th floor, a smell far more disturbing than anything you should encounter in any building other than a morgue hit me. I followed the smell to Unit #910. The stench of urine and feces was overwhelming. I knocked on the door, and the tenant, a skinny and pale young man, opened the door. I told him that his dog was disturbing me. He then told me that he had 9 DOGS.

Yes, you heard me right...in a unit that can't be more than 700 square feet, he told me that he had 9 DOGS living there.

9 DOGS!!!!

He then proceeded to say, "They're dogs, and dogs bark. I can't do anything about it." Let me say something...if I had thought at that moment that I could kill this pathetic little maggot and gotten away with it, I would have. I would have snapped his neck like a twig, and on judgement day, I have no doubt that God would have given me the biggest damn mansion in heaven. You know why....

because I've been told now by more than one person that this maggot of a human being might be running an illegal puppy mill right in downtown Los Angeles.

Satan's Rectum

I have many nicknames for this maggot infested sanctuary...The corner of Urine & Vomit, Satan's Rectum, Loserville...the list goes on and on.

You would be absolutely insane to consider either buying here or living here. Between the various lawsuits brought by the owners against the developer, and the homeless who are constantly urinating or vomitting in the alley way that leads into the parking, this is easily the worst condominium to live in.

Let me list some grievances:

1. Just in the last week, I have entered the elevators to find dog urine on the floor THREE times. Three times in one week, some irresponsible, inconsiderate maggot pet owner decided that he/she couldn't clean up after their valued pet after it urinated in the elevators. The people who live in this building are of a general quality that would be too filthy to live on Skid Row.

2. One day last week, I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. I found fresh dog feces on three flights of stairs between the 7th and 8th floors. I hoped it would be cleaned up promptly. Instead, I returned four days later to find the same dog feces. I decided to go down another stairway on the opposite side of the building and found the same thing there. Obviously, maintenance isn't worth...FECES in this building, but again, the people who live in this building are the real maggots.

3. The HOA may be technically insolvent, and it's not because of the economic crisis. Some have confided in me that fraud may be involved. More on that at a later date.