Satan's Rectum

I have many nicknames for this maggot infested sanctuary...The corner of Urine & Vomit, Satan's Rectum, Loserville...the list goes on and on.

You would be absolutely insane to consider either buying here or living here. Between the various lawsuits brought by the owners against the developer, and the homeless who are constantly urinating or vomitting in the alley way that leads into the parking, this is easily the worst condominium to live in.

Let me list some grievances:

1. Just in the last week, I have entered the elevators to find dog urine on the floor THREE times. Three times in one week, some irresponsible, inconsiderate maggot pet owner decided that he/she couldn't clean up after their valued pet after it urinated in the elevators. The people who live in this building are of a general quality that would be too filthy to live on Skid Row.

2. One day last week, I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. I found fresh dog feces on three flights of stairs between the 7th and 8th floors. I hoped it would be cleaned up promptly. Instead, I returned four days later to find the same dog feces. I decided to go down another stairway on the opposite side of the building and found the same thing there. Obviously, maintenance isn't worth...FECES in this building, but again, the people who live in this building are the real maggots.

3. The HOA may be technically insolvent, and it's not because of the economic crisis. Some have confided in me that fraud may be involved. More on that at a later date.